Drabbles
by loverofwomen
Summary: A collection of mostly unrelated femmeslash drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Alice straddles my lap, lips softly playing with mine. She's warm, soft, and fucking perfect here with me.

I never want to leave this bubble. Never want the outside world to infect the love we share, but it will. I can't protect it forever.

Instead, I pull her closer, relish the feel of her, and love her as hard and much as I can.

Beneath me, she shudders and sighs. Above me, she screams and bites, writhes against my body, brings me pleasure, too.

Together, we can do anything. Even, hopefully, grow the life that's been inserted into my body.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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From the first time I met her, I've loved her.

At first, it was a friendship love. Hours of laughter, banter, and secrets.

But it grew into something more, without my permission, as love is wont to do.

Rose thinks she's undesirable, but she's amazing.

Her body is a temple to worship. The smooth roundness of her hips sings to me. Her breasts are small, but enough, and perfect for her body. Her smile is genuine, easy, and contagious. Her hands make my body ache with sweet need. Her brain is sexy, smart, and quick.

If only she was mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Her fingers thrust as her tongue laps and licks at me. Between my thighs, she should always be between my thighs, I think as we move together.

But I do enjoy her above me, too. And beneath me. And next to me.

When she curls her fingers, I'm distracted from thoughts of my other favorite ways to have her, and moan. She is so good at this, so good at loving me in every possible way.

I come hard, her eyes crinkled at the edges, smiling as she pleasures me.

We lay together, peaceful and calm, bodies and hearts entwined.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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It's always the little things connecting us that make me smile.

The way she answers my endless, pointless questions. The way she drops pieces of information about her day, her life, her dreams. I lap them up eagerly, wanting as much of her as I can get. It's all I can have, this exchange of information and laughter, and I'm greedy.

I still want more; I always want more, but sometimes you have to settle for less.

Each beautiful part of herself Leah gives to me, whether it's a mundane detail or a closely-guarded secret, is a part I cherish.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Rose is spread out, bound, blindfolded, and gagged; exactly how I love her.

Well, that's not entirely true; I'd take Rose any way I could get her, but like this, together, we make music. Her whimpers, my moans, a melody of pleasure.

Her body is round and soft, more than mine, and I sigh wistfully. I would love to have her breasts, or full hips, but I have a naturally boyish figure that I hate.

As I crawl into our shared bed, I bite her thigh gently and smile, even though she can't see.

I'm ready to make more music.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Alice holds my hand in hers.

Her parents will be home soon, and we'll be forced back to our opposite sides of the room. We'll pretend we're doing homework like good high school kids.

For this moment, right now, she is the love of my short life. We've kissed and touched, never going too far. We're both scared and neither of us knows what any of this means for us, but for right now, she is my sweet girl, and I am her baby, and life is fucking amazing.

"Bella," she whispers. "They're home."

Just like that, my bubble explodes.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

I watch Angela from above the rim of my glasses. Her beautiful shiny hair is pulled into an imperfect bun.

Her dress clings to her curves, small but ample. I want to watch her peel it off slowly, watch as it falls to the floor and she covers my body with hers.

I know she's gay, she knows I'm gay, but we work together, and there is that saying about fishing from the company pier...

Still, I've begun to look forward to Mondays. To smell her, see her, hear her, _accidentally_ touch.

Maybe today will be the day I'm brave.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

When I walk through the door, the scent of chocolate chip cookies calms me. She's baking, which either means she's frustrated, stressed, or horny.

"Mama, I try."

I hear the soft voice in the kitchen with her, and then she replies in the affirmative, equally as quiet, to our son.

Turning the corner to the kitchen, I smile at them. Aiden jumps into my arms and Alice squeezes close, kissing the remnants lipstick off my lips, in an unusually passionate display of affection.

Horny; thank God.

"Hi, sweet thing."

"Welcome home, Bella," she says, and my world feels right again.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

Before Leah, I never thought about girls.

I was straight, right?

Then one day, she walked by all sweet and spicy, sarcasm and sass, and turned my whole fucking world upside down.

Somehow, I went from straight to complete tunnel vision for her pussy and tits. And ass.

And, truth be told, heart.

I couldn't wait to ask her to move in with me. To be together every night when we fell asleep, and every morning when we woke up.

"Hey Sweetness," she greeted.

Her lingering kiss told me she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her.

Couldn't wait.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

Her lips are soft, but forbidden.

Her hands bring me to heights previously unknown, but aren't allowed.

The ring on my left hand tells me I shouldn't love Alice as I do, but when she breathes my name, makes me scream, I don't know how to stop wanting that.

Her nails scratch down my spine and I cringe away. My body isn't hers to mark, but I suspect she does it on purpose. She knows. She wants her rightful place, and who am I to deny it? To deny the love she gives so freely and beautifully.

I'm so selfish.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

My face is buried; I can barely breathe. I'm intoxicated by her pussy.

"Breathe, Bella," she laughs, her hands at my ears, tugging.

"How can you be so sexy and not even see it, Esme? How? I can never get enough."

Caramel waves cascade down her shoulders as she stands above me, leaning against the wall. Her eyes meet mine as I lap and lick. I want to hear her scream, feel her pulse, and watch her come apart for me.

Then I want to do it again. Make her beg me to stop. Collapse and fall asleep around her.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

Her ass sticks out from my desk.

"Angela, didn't I tell you this had to be perfect?"

"Yes, Rose, bu-"

"No excuses."

The palm of my hand stings as it smacks against the bare flesh of her ass. Her skirt is around her waist, on display for me to please or punish. Perhaps both.

Several more swats echo against the walls of my office.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," she says, gasping and beginning to cry.

I'd feel bad except she brought this on herself, the silly error made clearly as a request to be spanked. God, I loved her.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

I was afraid to tell her it was my first time, so I didn't.

Now, between her thighs, my body resting on the bed, I'm faced with what I thought I wanted. Her pussy is full and ripe, ready for me to pluck. A nanosecond of indecision washes over me before I touch, explore, pleasure.

Her clit is nestled at the top like a jewel on a ring, and my lips surround it, pulling slightly. When Bella moans, it makes my heart soar, and I know I can continue.

When she comes on my hand and mouth, I feel powerful.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

She was tangy and sweet on my lips.

She was sassy and sarcastic in my ears.

She was love and patience and kindness in my heart.

She was confusion and chaos in my head.

Alice taunted me, her body small but mighty. I'd watched her in our Pilates class, admired her from afar. As we rolled our mats one day we'd both stayed late, she smiled at me.

She was pain and loss of a life I thought I wanted.

She was rediscovery, a breath of fresh air. A new life. Smiling again.

She is mine, and she is everything.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

Leah is bound, like my heart is bound to hers.

Her wrists are behind her back, breasts pushed out for me, nipples hard.

I circle her, waiting and forcing her to anticipate.

Her hair is long, down, beautiful.

Her body is lean, bare, ready.

"Make me come," I instruct, spreading myself before her on the bed.

Without thinking, she lowers mouth and complies. Her lips are open, soft, and warm against me. I come embarrassingly fast, thankful for the ability to have almost zero recovery time.

It's the beginning of a long orgasm-filled night for both of us.

I smile.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

I watch her body bloom, life growing inside of her. She's pregnant and I can't contain myself. Every night, I want her. I ache for her. I spend my days with a throbbing pussy, imagining how I might make her come that night.

She doesn't complain, but there are nights I can tell she needs a rest. On those, I run her a warm bath and touch her reverently, non-sexually. I remind myself that she's more than a plaything.

She's my wife.

When she gives birth to the most beautiful baby, I weep.

She grows only more beautiful. More sexy.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

Lace panties stretch over her round ass.

"What's another word for perky?"

"Are we talking about a body part or attitude?"

"How the fuck do I know?"

I roll my eyes. "Rose, you're such a crunty bitch sometimes. I'm trying to help you."

"Seriously, it's a crossword puzzle. I can't tell which version of the word they mean."

"Well, they could mean perky like Alice. Or they could mean perky like your nipple right now."

She rolls over and I'm treated with a view of her bare chest.

"My nipple isn't perky."

"Not yet," I say, smirking up at her.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

I see her email in the sea of advertisements, and random one-offs from friends and relatives. I can check email infrequently here, isolated from technology. Isolated from my real life. Isolated from her, and the temptation she brings. Physically isolated, anyway, since she is never far from my thoughts.

_I love you because of everything you are, Alice. I love you because of everything you're afraid to be. _

These two lines stay in my heart, thrumming through my thoughts randomly. I work up the courage required, and make my way into town again weeks later.

_I love you, too, Bella._


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

The ruby liquid slides easily down my throat, and the burn makes me think of her. Of drunk nights, bad choices, loud orgasms.

I miss her like a limb I once had. It's gone, she's gone; no one can stitch it all back together and make it right.

I fought for her, for us, but it was useless. Sometimes, denial is so thick nothing can penetrate it.

I see her at the park with him.

I see her at the park with her kids.

I cry and drink and cry, until there's nothing left. Because it's all I can do.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

She is softer than the most expensive cashmere, and far more beautiful.

Beneath me, Alice comes apart. Her legs are wrapped with mine, her lips pressed to my throat.

"Mmm, Rose, I love morning sex," she purrs.

"Who are you kidding, sweetheart? You love morning sex, afternoon sex, and late-night sex."

"Touche," she says, laughing.

The way she loves me is hard and soft and perfect.

And secret and quiet. A love only we know about. A love only we celebrate.

When she sneaks out to her life, she will put on her mask, and I will put on mine.


	21. Chapter 21

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I am broken without her. Broken with her. Out of options.

I never imagined I'd care this much about Bella when we met.

I look at my phone, anxiety creeping up my spine. It's been hours; has he found out? Finally, my patience snaps and I decide to text her again. I try to think of something innocuous, in case he's with her. I can't say what I want, can't confess the words on the tip of my tongue.

It ends up being three letters. As I press send, I sob, wondering why it has to be this difficult.

_IMY_


	22. Chapter 22

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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My fingers push inside Victoria as our lips collide. I can't believe she's here, naked, with me. None of my friends would believe me if I'd told them, and I hadn't. Won't.

We're a secret, my gift to myself, practically the only selfish thing I've done. I take care of everyone; she takes care of me in ways she doesn't even realize.

I watch her face as she comes, memorize her body, the sounds from her mouth. I watch everything, absorbing as much as I can before she's gone. Before we go back to the place where _us_ doesn't exist.


	23. Chapter 23

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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_Bliss._

It's the only word that floats through my mind as she collapses into my arms after her day.

"Lots of meetings?" I ask.

"You have no idea."

She burrows into me and I rest my cheek on her head, inhaling her scent.

"Let me make you feel better."

I pluck her clothes off, and show her how much I love her. How much I need her. Sweaty and sated, we lie together, hips touching and her breasts against mine.

"I don't deserve you."

"Bullshit. What a terrible thing to say."

"You saved me from myself."

"We saved each other."


	24. Chapter 24

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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"Just like that," Angela whispers, and I know the pads of my fingers are sliding over her g-spot. I lower my mouth, eager to please her and pleasure her.

"Are you sure it's okay?"

We're both nervous, too nervous. One of us should at least have experienced this firsthand before, but instead, we're fumbling like virgins. I guess in a sense we are, and I laugh against her clit, which must feel nice — she moans.

I snake my tongue out, tentatively tasting her, and immediately want more. Her body is twisting with pleasure as she writhes and comes. Perfection.


	25. Chapter 25

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Our fingers link and I look at her. She's radiant, beaming with happiness and excitement, all the things I've wanted to share with her for so long.

"How was your flight?"

"Empty seat next to me, so I read."

I know her well enough to know she was reading something deliciously dirty, especially with an empty seat.

"Hungry?" I ask, hoping.

She smiles, one side of her mouth pulling up further. "Yes."

It still takes me by surprise, Jessica's lusty grin, and I shiver. My nipples pebble and my cheeks flame.

"Me too."

"How far is the hotel?"

"Too far."


	26. Chapter 26

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I pick up the paintbrush and dip, thinking. The chocolate swirls onto her body like ink, and I like it. It's exactly what I'd hoped. When the other brush, touches her skin, kisses of caramel drip and sway against her curves.

The temptation to lick it all off makes my mouth water, but I want her to see.

"Done."

She yawn, sitting up. "I guess I dozed off."

Standing in front of the mirror, her eyes meet mine.

"It's beautiful, Alice."

"If I can't do the real thing, I guess chocolate is second best. Can I lick it off now?"


	27. Chapter 27

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Her fingertips trace patterns on my skin, my soul. Her lips tease and touch, leaving me breathless and boneless.

Never have I experienced what she gives me. Her eyes, clear and sparkling like citrine, see me in unique ways. The way she looks makes me feel beautiful.

"What am I going to do without you, Jess?" I whisper in the darkness.

Her arms wrap tighter around me, her legs pulling me closer.

"Be patient."

Instead of our bubbles colliding and joining forces, I know when the door opens, we will collide and burst. Where we once existed exists no longer.


	28. Chapter 28

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Like air, water, food, my body aches without her. Each breath I take pierces my lungs, oxygen not what I need.

Closing my eyes, I remember. I remember her fingers, her mouth, her lips and tongue. The way she sighs plays on repeat in my ear. Each needy moan and whispered _fuck_ makes me miss her even more. As the curves of her body flash behind my eyes, my fingers trace paths on my body, wishing they were hers again.

As quickly as I can, I come, thinking of her.

The pit of grief and sadness in my stomach tightens.


	29. Chapter 29

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I smile, thankful for Jessica's bold assertiveness. I could never do this if she was as shy as I am.

"Why do you still have clothes on?" she prods, sliding into bed beside me.

I've wanted her for so long — longer than she's known — and I can't believe we're in this space and time, this moment that's ours alone.

Her bravery inspires me, like much of what she does, and while she's in the bathroom, I peel my clothes off and hide under the blankets, smiling.

I want to be everything for her; to be so good, she never forgets.


	30. Chapter 30

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Jess's body hovers above mine, and I think about how I've never, ever wanted to be anything other than a woman… but in this moment, I wish so desperately I could fuck her. The idea startles me and I almost vocalize it, but we distract each other in perfect ways.

My fingers push into her, and it's still not close enough. I want to consume her, but settle for orgasm after orgasm. It's never enough, not for her nor me, but it feels like the only way I can communicate how I feel.

I've been twisted inside out with love.


	31. Chapter 31

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Her seductive smile is all I need to know she's game. If only she knew the laundry list of things I couldn't wait to try together. I want to know each freckle, every smooth inch of her body. Tonight, though, I'll settle for learning a few more details about what she likes. I've yet to learn every little thing that makes my girl come hard and I never want to stop trying.

"Leave your hands here," I say, knowing words and trust bind better than any material.

Spreading her legs, I bind them to the bedposts and waste no time.


	32. Chapter 32

No infringement of any kind is intended.

She squirms, and I can only hope what I'm doing is so right she can't stand another moment of pleasure. Instead of letting her off easily, though, my mouth chases her pussy. My tongue continues to flick and slide against her clit, moving lower and higher, everywhere. Her hips push and pull, her fingers in my hair, encouraging me.

"Like that?" I lift up and ask.

"Yes," she says quietly, and it's my new favorite word.

I'm certain I'll never get enough, but I can try. I attempt to memorize her taste, her feel, every sound and noise and touch.


	33. Chapter 33

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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For months, I've wondered what it would be like to spend a weekend with Jessica. No outside world. No friends or kids or anyone. Just us.

My anxiety almost consumes me, but my eagerness overshadows it. She's given me so much already, but I'm greedy and want more.

I want to walk down a street and hold her hand. I want to kiss her and lay in her arms. I want to whisper pretty words to her. I want to make her come. A lot.

Tears of happiness and anticipation well up as I step on the plane. I'm ready.


	34. Chapter 34

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Each time I think the tears are gone, they come again.

"Oh, Alice," I whisper. No one can hear me over the shout of the airplane engines, but I need to say her name, need to be connected to her again in some way. "I love you."

I open my phone once we're above cruising altitude and look at our pictures. I soak in the moments we were an us.

I'd joked I wanted to pack her in my suitcase, but it was the naked truth. Any uncertainties I had are gone; I need her. The tears come again, unstoppable.


	35. Chapter 35

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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She's so wet against my leg, all I can do is smile. Every insecurity has faded; she's naked, writhing, full of pleasure and lust — for me. For what we're doing.

Between her legs, I find her pleasure. Alice is loud, panting and heaving breath. She's like a goddess in front of me, swearing and sweating, glowing from orgasms.

She touches me tentatively, then full of certainty, and I crave it all. Her tongue is soft and teasing. Perfect, like her.

I weave stories in my mind of our future. Fantasies, potential realities. Each of them ends with us somehow together.


	36. Chapter 36

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I trace my fingers along the back of her neck, playing with her hair. It's been months… it might as well have been years, the way I've longed and missed her.

"You can't imagine how much I've missed you," I say. "God, I love you so fucking much."

The moment our lips meet, it all melts away. There's no airport, no passengers walking by, nothing. There's only us, our bodies and hearts. And slowly, there isn't even Bella and Jessica; we're one heartbeat.

I pull her hand into mine and we grab her bag, leaving to take on the world.


	37. Chapter 37

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Smooth skin slides against smooth skin, and everything feels so right again.

"Just let me sleep for a few hours," I whisper, pleading. I'm exhausted, more exhausted than I've been in years, but the war in my head wages — sleep, lust, love, food.

There will be time for everything else later, I decide, and pull her body against mine. One hand cups her breast, the other slips between her legs.

"I love how wet you are for me."

Her body arches against mine, need fueling need, as my fingers disappear into her.

I never, ever want this feeling to end.


	38. Chapter 38

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Jessica's hips glide back and forth above me, above my mouth. She's teasing me, looking down and smiling, waiting, waiting, waiting. I can almost taste her, almost feel her slick skin in my mouth.

Impatient, I wrap my hands around her hips and pull her down to me.

_Yum._

Her body is perfect, made to fit against mine, in every sense. Her hips flush with mine, her pussy against my mouth, her lips against mine. I want it all, over and over, forever.

The word flits through my head and I smile. I never imagined wanting anyone else around forever.


	39. Chapter 39

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I'm mentally scolding her for planning dinner with friends when all I want is her. Her leg brushes mine beneath the table and I tense for a moment; is anyone watching? One deep breath and a reminder to myself that I don't give a fuck, I get up for the bathroom.

As I'm washing my hands, she walks in, all cocky grin and gorgeousness. Ever polite, she waits until my hands are dry, then backs me into a stall and pushes me against it. Her lips are insistent, demanding, everywhere, _mine_. The way she claims me only fuels the fire.


	40. Chapter 40

No infringement of any kind is intended. Triple play. :)

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It's sweltering, the dead of summer. Sweat beads on my skin and I look over at her; she's just as miserable, I'm guessing from the expression on her face as she checks her email.

Inspiration strikes and I head to the freezer. As quietly as I can, I peel back the wrapper and make my way back to the living room.

I pull her out of her chair and we fall to the ground giggling. Thankfully, neither of us has much on, and I pull the cup of her bra down, circling her nipple with the popsicle. My tongue follows.

0.0

Sweet drips of popsicle mix with her and my mouth waters. I lap and suck at her pussy, swallowing every drop of her I can before moving back up her body with the melting confection.

When drops fall onto her nipple, she exhales. I put the tip of the popsicle against her skin and paint her. Goosebumps rise up on her flesh and before long, the popsicle is discarded for her. My lips surround her nipple, pulling and needing. The sweetness taints her, blurring and diluting her natural flavor.

Until I can taste her again, pure Jess, I keep going.

0.0

We run the shower colder than normal and the water quickly washes away the sticky sweetness from her body. Her arms wrap around my neck and pull me closer as we kiss under the cool stream of water.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you, too. So much."

Our lips meet again and turn up together, twin smiles.

She washes my hair so gently, peppering my skin with soft kisses between purposeful actions, and I return the favor. I try as hard as I can to show her how much she means to me with every touch, every word.


	41. Chapter 41

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I pass the trees dripping with their lights and ornaments, and sigh. I always miss her, but it feels particularly wrong to be apart for the holidays.

My life is full, I can't complain… but in the quiet moments, my hand feels empty without hers. I want to link them and ice skate; drink hot chocolate and lounge by a fire. I want to watch her face as she opens my gifts, and give her things that can't be wrapped up in a box.

_Miss you, J. Merry Christmas Eve._

A text isn't enough, but it's all I can do.


	42. Chapter 42

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I look down and still have to remind myself it's all real. Jessica Stanley's in my bed… our bed. As long as I don't scare her away.

Setting the coffee and muffins down on the bedside table, I smile as I think of her side and my side. Six months ago, I was trying to resist her, and now here she is, naked and sleeping. Sated.

No one has made me feel as beautiful as she does. No one has made me feel as passionate. I daydream about making babies with her somehow. A wedding on the beach. A life.


	43. Chapter 43

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I smile as I walk through the quiet house. Some kids are asleep, some are at school. My mental checklist of potential interruptions is empty.

Walking up behind her, I rest my chin on her shoulder. "Was someone naughty this morning?"

We move to the bedroom, her nude body draped over my knee. With each smack against her skin, my fingers linger and explore. I dip inside, fucking her slowly as I spank her. She slides her hips, fucking me back, moving into the sharp sting.

"You're so beautiful," I say. "Come like this?"

"No," she gasps. "In your arms."


	44. Chapter 44

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I close my eyes and remember. I close my eyes and dream.

I miss the way she smells. The way her hand fits into mine. The way our legs tangle together. I miss watching her come, and hearing her breathy noises, knowing she's close.

My hands bring my body relief while I replay scenes in my head. I lie in bed, catching my breath, and close my eyes to dream. To dream of a day when it's not my imagination, but her body against mine again.

I imagine all the ways our story could end, hoping with all my heart.


	45. Chapter 45

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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Somehow, I've managed to find a pocket of time to close my eyes. Curled in our bed, I inhale her scent and smile, then drift off to sleep.

I wake up cold, and fumble around for the blankets. My hand lands on warmth, her, and I reach out to pull her next to me.

"Lie back," she says.

Opening one eye, I see a cupcake in her hand and a devious smile on her face. I lie back and allow her to decorate my body with frosting, then lick it off, her mouth wandering.

I can't wait for my turn.


	46. Chapter 46

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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We make our way behind the door of a stall, needing privacy. Thankfully, the bathroom had been empty, but I'm not sure how long that will last, or how long we can keep quiet.

"Right here, Jess?" I ask, nervous.

"Right. Fucking. Here."

Without another word, she lifts the edge of my skirt. My legs spread for her on instinct. Before she's even touched me, I'm breathing heavy and resting my head on her shoulder, my lips seeking her out. She teases me, slowly and carefully, knowing my body like her own, before covering my mouth and making me come.


	47. Chapter 47

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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"Write the story of us," she whispers, and my heart skips a beat.

The weekend was everything I never knew I wanted. Everything I never knew I could have. Now, in the quiet of the room and the last few minutes of our time alone, that she wants to continue our story together makes me elated.

Immediately, my imagination floods with vivid pictures of us.

At the airport, we cling. I realize as I watch her walk away, I don't want to write our story; I want to live it. I want to breathe it, live each day with her.


	48. Chapter 48

No infringement of any kind is intended.

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I wait at the end of the white aisle for her. My heart races; I worry I'm going to pass out. Thankfully, Rose squeezes my arm and reminds me to breathe.

Jessica turns the corner and makes her way to me, her smile the widest I've seen. Well, outside of our bedroom. She takes my breath away all the time, but in this moment, I literally stop breathing.

Rose nudges me again. "Breathe, bitch."

"I love you," I whisper when Jess reaches me, our hands linking.

It's surreal, standing here with this woman I never knew would mean so much.


	49. Chapter 49

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

I throw my arms around her and the tears start before I can stop them.

"Are you really here?" I ask, my lips against her skin. "Please don't tell me I'm imagining this."

I know we're making a scene, but I don't care.

"I'm here," she whispers, her body safe and warm, wrapped in mine. "I'm here, love."

It takes everything I have in me to not kiss her, but my daughter watches carefully from the side.

"I can't wait to get you alone," I say, instead, discreetly kissing her neck.

_She's here_, I repeat to myself in my head.


	50. Chapter 50

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

She pushes the cart as we walk down the aisle.

"What else is on the list?" she asks, her hip bumping mine and bringing me from my never-ending thoughts.

"Milk, green chiles, bread, and eggs," I say, checking my phone.

I love to grocery shop, and even though Jess doesn't, it's time we can escape the house and be together. Mundane but perfect time.

"Let's make brownies," she says, grabbing a box. Her eyes light up, and the smile that crosses her face makes my heart beat faster.

Her hand falls into mine easily and our lips meet briefly.


	51. Chapter 51

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

She lies back on our bed, a contrast of red and cream lace lingerie against her skin.

"Hi," I say, smiling, not having expected to find her quite like this when I came upstairs to put laundry away.

"Come here," Jess says, opening her arms.

I set the bin of clothes down and climb into the bed with her.

"You are so sexy," I say, tracing the edge of the bra with my fingertips. My lips follow, and soon enough, I have her naked and beneath me.

Her body glows as she comes, a sheen of sweat covering her skin.


	52. Chapter 52

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

I can tell it's a hard day for Jess, and in everything I do, I try to make sure she feels my love and appreciation of her.

At the end of the long day, when I undress her, it's slowly and carefully. When we're in bed, it isn't with her body spread out before me, exposed. It's with my body wrapped around hers, holding her together.

"You are beautiful," I whisper, touching her everywhere. "Amazing, inside and out. Giving. Caring."

It's the truth, too. Every day I'm in awe of her selflessness. Every day, I'm thankful she's in my life.


	53. Chapter 53

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

"Over my knee," she says, situating herself on the bench at the end of the bed.

A smile is exchanged between us before I drape myself over her body as she's requested.

Once I'm in my usual spot, her hand smooths over the skin on my ass before landing in a sharp sting. The head spreads, from the spank or her fingers I'm not sure, as she continues. I want more, as much as she'll give.

Her fingers tease my lips, spreading wetness. "Someone's been very naughty."

I've been waiting for this moment all god damned day. "All for you."


	54. Chapter 54

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

I take a sip of my coffee and look out over the bustling shop. There are Christmas lights everywhere, holiday music is playing… I just can't find my holiday spirit.

"Bella, you okay?" Alice asks, sitting beside me with a cup of her own.

"Just lost in thought. Sorry," I say, smiling.

Her lips move, words filling the air, but I don't hear them, don't hear her. I'm a terrible friend, lost in my head, listening but not.

"Well, are you going to answer me?" she asks, kicking me under the table.

"What?"

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"Her."


	55. Chapter 55

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

Her body is laid out before me, legs spread, arms reaching for me to bring me in for a kiss. Her breasts beg for attention, and I lavish them with everything I have. I can taste her, feel her, smell her.

"That was four," I whisper in her ear.

Four times I've made her come, watched her body respond to me, eagerly lapped at her sweet, tangy wetness.

When I move in for number five, I realize something's wrong. Her body is no longer there, my pillow in its place. I open my eyes.

_It was all just a dream._


	56. Chapter 56

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

The moment her fingers plunge inside me, a loud moan escapes from my mouth. I've tried to hold it in since we got naked, but I'm done holding back.

Her lips pluck at my body expertly, and I'm coming in record time. My body tightens and I feel the pleasure in waves, rolling over me, just like I've needed for months.

"Oh god," I whisper, gripping the sheets.

When I open my eyes, they meet hers. I'm surprised she's looking up at me, but it makes me shiver as I come down.

In my arms, she hums and curls closer.


	57. Chapter 57

No infringement of any kind is intended.

* * *

Sitting across her legs, I'm curled up in her lap. Her fingers comb through my hair gently, and it's a moment of quiet intimacy we don't get with life and chaos.

Our eyes never leave each others, knowing the heightened vulnerability we share in this moment, my mouth at her breast.

She's not really lactating and I'm not really there for that reason, either… but isn't that what shared fantasy is about? Space where you can let your guard down, open up your most secret places, and hope the other person still loves and accepts you.

Together, we are strengthened.


	58. Chapter 58

No infringement of any kind is intended. Sometimes, 100 words simply isn't enough. Millions of words would never be enough to tell you exactly how you inspire, amaze, and affect me.

* * *

The last time I had Jessica in this position, I remind myself, I went too fast. This time, I'm determined to go as slow as I can, even though I know it will piss her off a little.

Before our clothes are gone, I touch her in all the places I can think of, watching her reaction closely. My foot slides up her leg, then tangles with hers beneath the table. I run my fingers over the delicate skin of her wrist. As we get up to leave, I trace her jawline before I kiss her with everything I have.

-

In the quiet of the house, I continue to learn everything I can about her. I breathe in her scent as my cheek rests on her shoulder. When I take her shirt off painfully slow, I run my thumbs up her ribcage and watch her shiver. My lips press all over her face, whispered words of love carried away on kisses.

I rub her calves and kiss the insole of her feet, then make my way higher again. My instinct is to go in for the kill; to lick at the sweet spot I've missed. I don't. I explore more.

-

Between her legs, I play the most. I run the tip of my finger up and down her lips, inside and on the outside. I pinch and lightly touch, watching her expression. When my tongue finally disobeys my brain and makes its way to her pussy, I continue to watch and learn. Does she like it more when I lick softly, in circles? Back and forth? Everything?

With my fingers deep inside, I try to figure out the best angle, the best speed, the right pressure.

Watching her, learning her, is so fucking sexy. I want to explore all night.

-

As I finally think I have the right combination, I coordinate my mouth and fingers, and watch her come undone. It's a beautiful explosion right before my eyes. I'm sure I could have done other things — the things I did the last time — and Jess would have had a perfectly great orgasm. But I don't want great; I want spectacular. Amazing. Outstanding. Unparalleled.

I don't want to give generic love or orgasms. I want to know every little detail of her, the good and bad, and then explore the new together.

The smile on her face tells me I've succeeded.


	59. Chapter 59

No infringement is intended.

* * *

It's a gaping hole in her chest, replaced in certain moments with hope and faith.

Watching her, the one she loves most, put herself through the worst kind of torture — knowing they're going through it together — makes her want to lay down and close her eyes for a very long time.

Bella aches for Jess. Would do anything. Say anything. Give anything.

None of it matters. It's all out of Bella's hands. Only Jessica can change their future now. Only Jessica can bring them back together. Back where they belong.

So Bella waits for a day that might never come.


	60. Chapter 60

The irony hits her like a punch in the gut. Just when Bella convinced herself Jessica was hers, her whole world turned upside down. Just as she'd begun to believe, it was all taken away.

Bella's heart feels wrung out and left to dry on a clothesline; hollow, empty. Ready to blow away in the wind.

Painful memories roll over her like a truck, and with each one, she tries to take a deep breath. She tries to remember, to believe. She doesn't know if she's convincing herself of lies to cope, or if it's a magical thing called faith.


	61. Chapter 61

The exhaustion is all-encompassing. I look everywhere and see reminders of her. Of us.

Nothing has ever hurt like this, ever.

Nothing had ever felt so right. So perfect. So meant to be.

How could everyone see it but her?

How could we be something she gave up so easily, to go back to a life of darkness, fear, lies, and manipulations?

Even though everything in my body aches, I can't bring myself to think this is the end. There were supposed to be two white dresses, a lifetime of love, and days packed with happy memories and moments.


	62. Chapter 62

Her eyes are red-rimmed, swollen, and yet somehow still wet. Bella shakes her head, another wrack of sobs taking over her body as she gasps for breath. She feels light-headed, dizzy, and doesn't know what to do.

Her heart screams to get on a plane. To make things right again. She reminds herself it isn't so simple. If it was, she'd have done it long ago.

Her head throbs, everything in her body telling her this is wrong. This isn't how it was supposed to be.

All she can do is wait, wonder, and hope.

She still believes.


	63. Chapter 63

Her hand slips into mine, squeezing, and the smile across my face makes my cheeks hurt.

How many weeks have I waited? How many nights did I cry myself to sleep? They're all gone in this moment, replaced only with joy and love.

Even though her heart was always mine, now she's here with me, all mine, to cherish and love every second of every day. I made silent vows while we were apart that I'd never let a day go by without reminding her of her value in the world, and to me.

She is my love, my everything.


	64. Chapter 64

"I have to try one last time."

My mind registers the words, but my heart shatters. I remind myself over and over, sometimes out loud, that this has to happen. She has to know deep in her heart she's doing the right thing.

I've done everything I can. I've shown her what real, true love is. I've loved her unconditionally, completely. Without judgment, without reserve. I've shown her some of what her body can do, and how fantastic it can be.

I hope with everything I have that my voice stays in her head, reminding her what love _should_ be.


	65. Chapter 65

My fingers push into her at a languid pace. I'm not in a hurry; I want to linger in this moment, in her scent and taste and feel. Using the thumb of my other hand, I circle her clit, watching as her body responds. Her hips lift. Her breathing quickens. Her little moans and whimpers make me ready for my turn. I wonder if she'll ever realize how sexy she is.

I want to watch her body tighten again, so I shift my movements slightly, knowing exactly how to tip her over the delicious edge. She screams as she comes. 


	66. Chapter 66

I wait for her airplane to arrive as close to the security area as possible. I know I won't be able to control my emotions when she rounds the corner, but I'm taking a million deep breaths anyway.

After all the chaos, all the drama, to finally have her back in my arms feels impossible.

The moment I see her, though, everything snaps into place. She got on the plane. She's here. She's smiling and hugging me, and I can finally breathe for the first time in months.

We kiss hard, not letting go of each other for several minutes.


	67. Chapter 67

I wait, anxiety knotted in my stomach, for anything. Any kind of a sign, a word she's okay, any sort of relief that things have changed.

Nothing comes, and I pace. I walk the kitchen. I pace in my own head, chasing terrible thoughts out with positive thoughts of our future.

I wait to hear the words I've longed for. I wait to hear the words I need. I wait for some kind of progress, to know that we still exist.

Hope is difficult, drowned out by the silence, but not impossible. With everything, I hope. I wait. I love.


	68. Chapter 68

For the longest time, we hold each other. We cry. We whisper all the things we haven't had time to say.

I want to be naked, bared to her, and feel her skin against mine. "Clothes," I whisper, hoping she knows it's not for anything other than closeness. There will be time for orgasms later.

She was right when she said it would never be close enough, but I can try. I need so much of her, have gone too long without her.

Skin against skin, I pull her tightly to me.

"Please don't ever leave again."

"Never," she whispers.


	69. Chapter 69

I apologize for using space 69 for something less than sexy.

* * *

It's brutal, gutting, heart-breaking. The sobs overtake Bella, and she doesn't know what to do.

There is silence and no clarity, only space for her to fill in answers. When might things fall into place? When might this pain be over? When might there be some answers? It's endless emptiness, as far as she can see and tell.

_Soon_ she reminds herself. _Soon_ was what Jessica told her.

Bella can't help but wonder, staring at the facts. Holding on, hoping, having faith… hurts like a mother fucker, especially in the face of this. Soon, she wonders? Soon, she hopes.


	70. Chapter 70

The lump in her throat tightens as she looks at the pictures. Full of shame, she plays the video. She comes by her own hand, then cries, the guilt and sadness overwhelming her.

All Bella wants is for her love to be back in her arms, where she belongs.

Faith, she reminds herself. Faith in their love. Their bond.

She feels like an idiot, conflicted in every way possible. How is it possible to be this knotted up?

She re-reads words, looks at pictures again, tries so desperately to find that special place in her heart where they exist.


	71. Chapter 71

There are no words to explain the attraction and depth of love Bella feels for Jessica. She simply pours the emotions out, hoping the other girl will believes and really hears and feels it.

The distance and circumstances create a wedge, an obstacle that feels overwhelming and impossible at times. She wonders if it will be weeks or months… the word _years_ flashes in her head and she breaks down.

The idea that time spans endlessly in front of them, time spent not being allowed to talk, to love, to cherish… it's incomprehensible. Bella suspects neither woman is that strong.


	72. Chapter 72

The Christmas lights are gone, cleaned up and put away for another year.

Days have been checked off the calendar, hope building with each one. The time until she can whisper in Jessica's ear is coming quickly. Bella tries to focus on projects, tries to keep busy until they're reunited, but the anticipation has been huge.

Lists have been made, and Bella wonders how they'll spend their weekend together, now that they can speak again. Will it be awkward or completely natural, like last time? Will there be holding back, or outpouring of emotions?

She's ready for all of it.


	73. Chapter 73

It's four in the morning, and Bella should let Jessica sleep, but she just can't. Instead, her hands roam the smooth expanse of Jess's body, a slow, rousing wake up call full of need.

Their bodies press against one another's, a low hum of moans and pleasure-seeking floating around the room. Bella cups the other woman's breast, her mouth wrapping around the nipple and sucking, and Jess's head falls back in the familiar way. Watching and feeling her provokes Bella and soon, they're coming together.

They lie together sated, wrapped in each other, and fall quietly back to sleep.


	74. Chapter 74

"She's ready," I say to Edward. "I'm going. You got this?"

His smile is almost as big as mine.

"Go. Book a ticket and go."

My stomach churns. I've waited so long for this moment, and now I only have to wait a few more days until I'm in her arms. It's unimaginable. I pack a bag that very day, so eager to be there.

Jessica waits in the tiny airport for me, and I know the entire weekend will be about public restraint. I don't care. In private, I will ravage and love her fiercely. The way she deserves.


	75. Chapter 75

To make up for chapter 69 from yesterday...

* * *

Her body hovers above mine, her face at my pussy and mine at hers. It takes concentration and focus, but we're both too greedy. I push my fingers into her, licking where I can reach and trying not to strain my neck. Her taste floods my mouth and drives me to go faster, more.

I'll never get sick of her, inside or out of bed. I wonder how many times I can make her come before I have to stop.

My mind goes blank as she does something I can't identify and my whole body tightens.

She wins this round.


	76. Chapter 76

My coffee is cold, causing me to swear after I take a sip. I got distracted wiping hands and mouths, then cleaning up after lunch was over. A year ago, two years ago, cold coffee would have pissed me off. Now, it reminds me that I'm surrounded by love. Deliriously drenched in it every day.

The day Jessica asked me if I knew what I was getting myself into, she had no idea of the excitement that ran through my head.

I reheat my mug and slip onto the couch next to her.

"Hi, love."

It's a perfectly imperfect day.


	77. Chapter 77

As I plate the last bit of food, I smile. I know she's not expecting much, but I've hopefully made a delicious, simple meal for us to share.

She's already sitting at the table, and she's lit a few tall candles. I set her plate in front of her and she looks up and smiles.

"Holy shit."

"Petite filet with red wine reduction and garlic mashed potatoes."

"This looks amazing," she says, picking up her fork and knife.

"Hopefully it tastes amazing."

The noises she makes as she eats cause me to squirm.

"What's for dessert?"

I smirk. "One guess."


	78. Chapter 78

They wait in the cold, huddled together. It was a happy circumstance that they stumbled into the LGBT-friendly restaurant in an unfamiliar city. It means Bella won't feel awkward touching her girlfriend, whispering into her ear, holding her hand. She desperately wants to kiss her, but doesn't know where Jessica's boundaries are yet.

Inside, Bella wishes she'd ordered something different from Jess — for any excuse to feed her love.

At the thought, she realizes how deeply she's already in love with this magnificent woman. She'd fallen for her head and heart, but now everything has deepened with their intimacy.


	79. Chapter 79

The house is quiet and Bella's grateful for the silence. Partially because she's not used to the constant noise, but mostly because it means Jessica is finally hers and hers alone.

"Come here," she says, echoing the words she used the first time they were together.

Bella pulls Jess's clothes off, then guides her to the bed. After she rolls her onto her stomach, she straddles the small woman, putting oil into her hands. Carefully, Bella works the knots and tight muscles, and before long, Jessica's breathing is slow and Bella knows she's asleep.

They sleep together, a cherished moment.


	80. Chapter 80

Such a simple thing, she thinks, waking up together. Such a simple thing so many people take for granted every day. Bella looks at Jessica as she sleeps and knows she'll never take it for granted.

Bella runs her fingers through Jess's hair, pushing it off her face and following it with a soft kiss to her temple.

"I love you," she whispers as quietly as she can.

"I love you, too," Jess says, startling her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I'm glad you did."

They share a smile over their pillows, and so much overflowing love.


	81. Chapter 81

Bella smiles, watching the snow fall in huge, wet flakes from the kitchen. She hates the snow, but her smile isn't entirely weather-related. She stirs the cocoa, infused with boozy goodness and topped with whipped cream, and takes both mugs to the chair.

"It's so pretty when you don't have to drive in it," she says, handing Jess her cup.

There's Christmas music on in the background, and Jessica holds Bella's cup while the women situate themselves together, like pieces of a puzzle. Once they're fit together, they sip and whisper and laugh, but mostly, they're silent. Thankful. Loving.


	82. Chapter 82

Bella doesn't remember feeling so relaxed and content in a long, long time. She's skin to skin with Jess, the warmth of their bodies cocooned together beneath the comforter radiating between them.

She's a caretaker in every sense, but sometimes, it's nice to let someone take care of her. Being vulnerable in this way is uncomfortable, but Jessica makes it easy.

Bella's eyes fall closed before she can stop them. Jessica's running her fingers through Bella's hair, and her breath is soft against Bella's skin. The lure of sleep is too much with the soft, sweet attention from her love.


	83. Chapter 83

"Ready?"

"Almost," Jess says, putting on a light coat of lipstick.

Their eyes meet in the bathroom mirror and they share a smile.

Bella has on the tallest heels she dares to wear, and for once, she feels pretty. Maybe even sexy. She's looked forward to this night for weeks.

At the restaurant, Jessica's hand rests on Bella's thigh, sliding dangerously higher.

"Tease," Bella says, her eyes fixed on Jess's lips, which turn up.

"Not teasing at all. I fully intend to follow through."

Jessica's hand slides to the middle seam of Bella's pants, and they're both eager to leave.


	84. Chapter 84

Bella tangles her legs with Jessica's, bringing their bodies even closer.

"I love you," she says, pushing her fingers through Jess's hair. "I love you now, I loved you yesterday, I will love you tomorrow.

"I love your body. I love your brain. I love your heart."

"You love my boobs," Jessica interrupts, a wide smile on her face.

"This is true. You have a spectacular rack."

They get distracted touching each other.

"You're everything," Bella says. "Everything."

She loses herself in showing Jessica just how important she is, hoping with each touch, each moan, Jess can feel her love.


	85. Chapter 85

Her back is curled to my front, and we nestle together watching TV. My fingertips stroke over her skin with no real intent, just touching and _feeling_ her. As commercials invade, I press soft kisses to her shoulder and nuzzle my chin against the curve of her body. My arm wraps around her, holding her close.

Jess hums and I can tell she's smiling, calm and content in my arms. I know deep in my bones that I will love her forever. I'm just grateful that I get the chance to remind her of it every day, like she deserves.


	86. Chapter 86

All Bella has wanted for months is to love her. To show her love for her freely. To cut the chains that hold Jessica prisoner, and watch her fly, even if it means flying away from her, too.

Nausea rolls over her as she thinks and wonders. She second-guesses every decision, trying to figure out what she should be doing. What more she _could_ be doing.

Whatever Jess needs, Bella would give it, without question or expectation.

She can't wait for the day they'll be together. Wake up and go to sleep, and all the stupid shit in between.


	87. Chapter 87

Her body is delicate, like a piece of fine china. Bella knows Jessica would never describe herself this way, but to Bella, there is nothing more precious or valuable. Every part of her is meant to be loved and cherished.

While Jess is spread out in front of her, Bella takes time to notice everything about her body. Every mole, every freckle, every spot that makes her moan or sigh softly. She touches, still watching, and slowly lowers her mouth to taste.

Bella makes the buildup slow, inch by inch, drawing out her lover's pleasure as much as she can.


	88. Chapter 88

"That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen," Jessica says.

Bella laughs. The mere thought she could be sexy is ridiculous to her, but still, the idea warms her soul. The idea that this woman finds her sexy in any way gives her hope. She's spent her life feeling inferior, less than, having a pretty face (which really means _you'd be beautiful if you lost weight_, she's learned through experience).

There aren't adequate words in her world, a world typically filled with pretty words, to describe the way she feels when Jess looks at her, or reaffirms her love and lust.


	89. Chapter 89

"Yes, Mistress."

Jessica's words speak to me on a level beyond the immediate scene before me. She's in front of me, ready to serve, but it's something more. It's trust and love and lust and commitment.

"Good girl," I say, lifting her chin so our eyes meet.

After a kiss, I move to each wrist, then her ankles, binding her to the bed. She's naked, wet, and more than ready. Once I blindfold her, I stand back and look at my handiwork. She's always gorgeous, but in her submission, she is even more so.

I play with her all night.


	90. Chapter 90

She's on the floor in the position I've requested. Once I unbound her, kissed her wrists, and allowed her a bathroom break, she was instructed to come back into the room and place her hands on her thighs, sitting back on her heels.

Jess's breasts are pushed out, ready for my attention, but now it's my turn. I clip my prettiest clothespins over her nipples, then lie back in front of her. I'm so worked up from watching her the last few hours that it takes no time at all, no real effort from her mouth, and I'm coming hard.


	91. Chapter 91

The teal suede slides across her skin, teasing and waking it up. It takes a few minutes before I'm comfortable using the flogger in its intended way. I love watching her build, watching her move, craving the attention and sensation.

I drop the implement and my hand curves against the swell of her flesh. After I land the first swat, she moans low and slow. My fingers explore, pushing into her. With one hand, I spank; the other, rubs her clit and fucks.

"Count them," I say.

We don't even make it to double digits before she's coming against me.


	92. Chapter 92

You amaze me every single day. Your strength and beauty are just a few of the millions of things I love about you. Thank you. Someday, it won't be flat words on a page, but a real celebration we share.

* * *

I look over at the clock to make sure the day's begun as she comes. 12:07AM.

Jessica's cheeks are pink. She glows with the flush of orgasm; the orgasm I gave her.

At a decent hour, there'll be lush red roses. There will be cupcakes. There will be whispered moments of affection, and gifts — those that can be opened in front of our children, and those that can't. There will be more orgasms.

"You make me so happy," I whisper, following my words with a kiss against her neck. "I don't know how I got so lucky. Happy anniversary."


	93. Chapter 93

Bella misses the way Jessica's fingers touch her body, touch her soul. She uses her own hands, but it's not the same; it never will be, no matter how hard she tries or concentrates.

The loneliness seeps into her bones. She's not physically alone, but the connection the women share is beyond description, and certainly not something fulfilled by any other area of her life. There's softness and such sweet love, just thinking about it makes her ache. It's not just sexually, either, it's every aspect of her companionship that Bella misses.

She counts the days, unknown, until they're together.


	94. Chapter 94

She gives without expectation. She loves with hope, tinged with fear.

She spends her day leaving breadcrumbs in the form of drops of love wherever she can think of. She pins, she hearts, she tweets. She reminds herself that someday, it will all be different. Someday, Jessica will be free to love her back however and wherever and whenever. Someday, things will be more equitable.

She's angry at things she has no right to be angry about, but she lets them press against her chest anyway.

She worries - day and night, every second, about every possibility.

She waits, feigning patience.


	95. Chapter 95

Bella counts down the time until they're together again… it's an unknown variable, to her at least, but she calculates and re-calculates. It could be a few days or a few weeks. For a planner, not knowing the plan is excruciating. It's giving up control in the most spectacular way, and not in the fun tie-you-up way.

She suspects the truth is that there probably isn't even a plan. If there is, it likely changes daily.

To distract herself from the uncertainties, she clings to the truths. She's desperately in love. She's extraordinarily lucky. She is loved.


	96. Chapter 96

Her fingertips glide over my nipples, then tug. It's been too long. I don't need or want foreplay; I want her, screaming, coming, moaning, whispering. I push her back on the mattress and climb over her. Between her legs, I stop.

I temper the urge to tell her pussy directly how much I've missed it, and instead, show it. My mouth surrounds her, my tongue seeking out the places I know will make her shake, tasting her thoroughly. I waste no time and make her come as fast as I can. After the first, I take my time and explore.


	97. Chapter 97

Her smile is infections. I can't keep my hands to myself, and since she keeps smiling, I take it as a sign that it's okay.

It isn't the way we imagined reuniting — with envisioned hotels and vacations — but it's perfect. It's us. It's chaotic and not easy, but she's there, and I'm there, and what more do we need? There are stolen kisses, hidden moments behind closed doors, and quiet orgasms.

There are intense moments of connection and intimacy, and I know it's what she needs. I'm eager to help her recharge and remind her just how special she is.


	98. Chapter 98

When I wake up, I have to take a deep breath. I almost pinch myself, needing a remind that I'm truly awake and not dreaming. Love surrounds me, literally and metaphorically, and I couldn't be happier.

In the kitchen, I make eggs and pancakes, and smile while I feed the kids. I sip coffee and think about the day ahead. It's early, earlier than I'd like, but this is a life I longed for. A life I ached for, and wanted more than anything else, even sleep.

This is a life with Jessica. And Edward. A life full of love.


	99. Chapter 99

Bella doesn't believe in soul mates; never has, and maybe never will. But the pull between them is the closest she's ever felt to such a notion, and it's turned her heart upside down. When they're apart, it's a physical ache. When they're together, nothing's made more sense. She's never felt more free. More alive. More loved. More in love.

She dreams about getting down on one knee in spectacular fashion.

She wishes she could go back in time and keep every moment of their time together for herself. She wishes she'd kissed Jessica more.

She wishes for the future.


	100. Chapter 100

Jess straddles my lap as my hands explore; one at her pussy, one pinching her nipple. Our mouths press together, her tongue in mine, and my fingers mimic the action. Each time her tongue pushes in, so do my fingers.

Her hips shift above mine. "Oh shit," she whispers against my lips.

Bending my head, I bite above her nipple. She moves her hips faster as I keep my steady pace with my fingers, wanting to prolong her pleasure. There's nothing more beautiful than her face as she comes.

We fall into a sweaty heap on the bed.

My turn.


	101. Chapter 101

Her mouth closes around my nipple and I can hear and feel the metal barbell through my skin against her teeth.

"Oooh." The soft moan escapes as my fingers thread into her hair. "Perfect."

Jess lavishes attention on my body, and it's exactly what I need. What I've needed for weeks. Her lips are wet, her skin is soft, and her fingers are demanding.

She doesn't just make me come, she coaxes and teases each orgasm from my body, as only she can. Her mouth tastes of me, her tongue between my lips, her body in my arms again.

Love.


	102. Chapter 102

We sit on the swings as the kids play a few feet away on the slides. My hand reaches for Jessica's, and my feet kick out, taking me higher.

"Mama, I have a snack?" Leah asks.

Jess squeezes my hand. "Yeah, let's go have lunch."

In the picnic basket, there are sandwiches and treats and juice boxes. Everyone gathers at our blanket, picking what they want and eating. The older kids wander to a shady spot under a huge tree, and the younger kids stay with us.

Jess throws a grape at me and smiles, leaning in to kiss me.


	103. Chapter 103

The warm water and bubbles surround us. Jessica's behind me, her arms wrapped around me.

"Lean forward," she says quietly, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

I do, and she traces patterns before kneading the stress-knotted muscles beneath my skin. She kisses my back again, and I shiver, the cold room making me break out in goosebumps.

"Ready to get out?"

Nodding, I get out and dry off, then turn and wrap her in a towel, drying her off. In bed, she touches and loves me, wraps me up in beautiful words and actions; makes me feel her love.


	104. Chapter 104

Her fingers work rhythmically in and out of my body, as they have for several minutes. Her mouth against my pussy is amazing. It's too good, and I don't want it to end yet, so I keep distracting myself from coming.

Jessica moves her other hand up to my breast, pulling at the barbell, and her mouth moves off my clit for a moment. "Come for me, Bella."

"Fuck."

She knows what it does to me when she talks dirty, and I can't hold back the dam anymore. My legs pull tight against her body as everything tightens, then pulses.


	105. Chapter 105

Jessica is lying opposite me on the couch, her feet in my lap as I rub them.

"Lots of good pics?" I lift her foot and kiss the arch.

"Yes, but I forgot how temperamental newborns are." Her head lolls back on the couch. "Good pictures, though. You want to see them?"

"I need a shower after that run. Meet you in the studio?"

Jessica's studio is really a quiet corner of the house with all of her backdrops and equipment.

She smirks and shakes her head at me. "No way. I'll be in the shower with you."

"Lucky me."


	106. Chapter 106

My spatula swirls through the last swipe of chocolate frosting, and I step back, satisfied.

The birthday girl is standing across the island from me. "Do you like it?" I ask, nervous.

"I love it. It's gonna to taste _so good_!"

I raise an eyebrow at her. "I hope so. Want to lick the spatula?"

Alice's eyes go wide. "Can I?"

I nod and hand the utensil over, and she quickly attacks it.

From the corner of the room, I notice Jessica watching us. She's leaning against the wall, wide smile on her face as she mouths _I love you_.


	107. Chapter 107

"Are you excited?"

"You have no idea."

I have planned a fun weekend for us, and I'm eager to be in a hotel room with a new city to explore with her.

"Bella, why aren't you going toward the airport?"

"I never said we were flying. We're headed downtown."

Once we check in, we fall into the plush bed together. We try to watch TV, but our hands and mouths distract each other. Before we've even had time to make dinner plans, she's above me, my lips and tongue working her body to an orgasm.

We stay up all night.


	108. Chapter 108

The warm water flows over my shoulders and back. The moment I look up and make eye contact with her, everything else fades away.

Jessica leans back against the shower wall the moment my mouth makes contact with her pussy. Her eyes close, and her fingers thread through my hair, pulling me closer. She takes and I give, my lips and tongue working slowly against her skin. As much as I want her to come, I want to watch her in this moment even more; watch her pleasure build before she explodes, soak in the way I make her feel.


	109. Chapter 109

The power I feel hovering above Jessica, knowing we're doing something new and fun, is unmatched. My fingers touch and tease, then guide the silicone inside her. It's confusing in my head, feeling my hips against hers, knowing the toy emulating body parts I wasn't born with connects us both, and feeling her fingers around my breast.

I watch her closely as I push in and pull out of her, fucking her slowly as her fingers glide over her clit. I can't feel her body constrict around mine as she comes, but I know all the signs. She is beautiful.


	110. Chapter 110

I watch Jessica's body beneath mine as I ride her slowly. Our bodies move, seeking and chasing our orgasms. I need more of her skin and body against mine, so I lower myself until our breasts and lips touch.

"I love you," I whisper against her mouth. "Come with me, please." I know she's not there yet, neither am I, but we're both close.

My hips rotate and push against hers harder than before, and she moans. She's not quiet or restrained, she's letting the lust wash over her, and it's perfect.

When we come, it's glorious connection and pleasure.


	111. Chapter 111

The airport is tiny — smaller than I even imagined. She stands out like a shining star; glorious and beautiful. I need her so much that everything inside me aches.

Inside the hotel room, we hold each other. Not a minute is left to waste; we don't leave to eat, we don't make plans to do anything but soak in each other.

I remind her of the happiness and lightness she feels when we kiss and touch. I remind her how special and precious she is. She reminds me how she loves me.

She opens the gifts I've saved for her.


	112. Chapter 112

I can feel it in my chest when she tells me she's ready. My heart races almost as fast as my brain. I have to sit down and put my head between my knees; it's that overwhelming.

Before Jess can change her mind, I've got a flight booked for the following day, and a hotel room reserved.

I know I'm not an easy person to love; I'm moody and bossy and needy. I'm just grateful that every day, I'll get the chance to remind her of why she loves me, and how deeply and truly I love her.

We exist.


	113. Chapter 113

Her fingertips trace my cheekbones, something that's happened so many times on a computer screen. My lips curve into a smile as Jessica leans down and kisses me softly. Her kisses render me speechless and make me squirm.

"I love you," she says, looking into my eyes.

She soothes my soul, her body against mine, her hand in mine. We shop together, watch TV, and co-parent. She loves me in all the ways I've wanted and needed; every moment of pain disappears.

"Did you believe me that it could be this good?"

"No," she says. "But you were right."


	114. Chapter 114

The tips of my fingers reach and seek, finding Jessica's g-spot.

"How about that?"

We've been at this for a few hours… exploring and touching and experimenting. Talking.

"Good," she says, exhaling as she pushes against my hand.

I use my teeth and skim her clit, then suck it into my mouth. Before I can even move on and flick it with my tongue, she's writhing against me and I can tell that's a good sensation for her.

"Slow or fast?" I ask, pulling and pushing my fingers into her.

"Yes," she breathes.

I watch carefully as she comes.


	115. Chapter 115

We're all giggles as we walk in, and although I've been in a sex shop before, I've never been in a sex shop with Jessica. We wander the aisles, picking up things and looking at them. Our basket fills up faster than I can keep up with, and I can't wait to get back home and play with her.

In the privacy of our bedroom once the kids are in bed, we open boxes and explore. We use things on each other and discover new sensations together. We lose track of orgasms, and we smell and taste of each other.


	116. Chapter 116

In the hotel room, our hotel room at _my_ hotel, I don't give her a chance to look around. On the bed, I push her skirt up, the skirt I asked her to wear, and pull her panties down and off. Between her legs, I press my mouth against her clit, moaning at every sensation I've been deprived of, everything I've missed.

She comes on the bed, in the shower, on the desk, and against the door. It's a game of who can make who come more, harder, faster.

It's a game I'd gladly play every fucking day with her.


	117. Chapter 117

"Do we need toilet paper?" I ask, trying to remember.

"Yes, and paper towels."

I shake my head, wondering how the cart is already so full.

"When do they arrive?"

Jess looks at her watch. "About four hours."

"Are you nervous?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "Of course I am."

"It'll be okay. I promise, I'm an expert at wooing parents."

"Yeah, well, you've never met mine," she mumbles, wandering to the frozen food aisle.

"Do they know I'm staying with you?"

She laughs in response.

I anticipated this moment, the anxiety, but I still look forward to it.


	118. Chapter 118

"Okay, who wants pepperoni?"

The kids go insane, and I can't really tell who wants what.

"If you want pepperoni, raise your hand."

That works better, and I pass out slices while I watch Jess give slices of plain to the rest of the kids. When we stand off in the corner, our arms touch and I smile.

"Can you believe another year has passed?"

"No," she says. "My babies aren't babies."

"Do you think she'll like her gift?" I ask, making eye contact.

"No, I know she'll love it."

Her fingers skim mine and we somehow resist holding hands.


	119. Chapter 119

The waves crash against the shore, and I take a deep breath. The salty air tickles my nose. I can't wait to go eat at the restaurant that's practically on the sand, as we watch the sun set.

"You need to get ready," Jess calls from the bathroom.

"I know, I just want one more minute of this."

Side-by-side, we fix our hair and do our makeup. She's never looked more beautiful, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to express the depth of my love for her — not just her physical beauty, but her spirit.


	120. Chapter 120

The smooth skin of her legs slides over my shoulders, and my hands make their way up to her hips. My tongue reaches out and traces the velvet bareness of her. When my tongue reaches her clit, I circle slowly and hum, hoping the vibration provides a good sensation.

She squeezes her thighs, and I moan harder. Jessica's fingers scratch at my scalp as I continue to lavish her pussy with as much attention and stimulation as I can.

"You gonna come for me, baby?" I ask, lifting my head.

Her fingers tighten in my hair as she does, loudly.


	121. Chapter 121

The paint shines on the wall, zigzags of brightness glistening on a formerly dull canvas.

"Do you still like it?"

"It's perfect, don't you think? Jessica asks, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

I shrug. "I've never really painted a kitchen before. I always just left them plain, but I like that we're doing this."

"You just like that we'll have to get naked and shower after."

"Touché," I say, laughing. "But seriously, I love that we're making this place ours."

"I love that this place _is_ ours," she says, backing me against the cabinets. "And that you're mine."


	122. Chapter 122

The first few notes of our song ring out through the crowd, and my eyes well with tears. I knew it was coming, but it still hits me right in my chest. We'd been across the room from each other, saying hello to the various guests celebrating the day with us, but I seek Jessica out immediately.

I hate dancing, but I love to have her in my arms, so it's a compromise.

"How'd I get so lucky?" I whisper against her neck. "I can finally call you my wife."

"Karma."

We laugh and kiss and she wipes my tears.


	123. Chapter 123

"Okay, pajamas on," I say to Leah. "Ready for your bedtime story?"

She gets into her PJs and I listen as she negotiates with her sister to decide which book I read. Once they've picked, we all climb into one bed, each of them flanking me, and I read quietly. My favorite part is doing the different voices, and since they get such a kick out of it, it makes it even more fun. Once I've kissed and hugged and tucked them in, I go to her.

"You're a great mom."

"You're not so bad yourself," I say, kissing Jess.


	124. Chapter 124

It's been a long day for everyone. I can hear Jess in the office, fingers tapping at the computer keys. In the bathroom, I run a hot bath and drop her favorite bath bomb in. I mix her favorite drink and pour it into a tall glass, setting it on the desk next to her.

"Thank you, love," she says.

"There's a hot bath waiting for you, too."

"You spoil me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

In the water, she exhales and her stress visibly melts away.

"Get in with me?" she asks, wicked grin on her face.


	125. Chapter 125

The store's almost empty as we walk in.

"What do you think of this?" Jessica asks, holding up a bra.

"Love. This?" I ask, unable to decide.

She shrugs and I put it back. In the back of the lingerie store, we get distracted with silk. That is, until the girls squeal, hiding in the displays up front. I giggle and blush, mortified we've lost track of them.

"You go check out and I'll gather them up. Pretzels?"

"Definitely," she says.

At home, I realize she snuck in a few surprises and I can't wait to see her in them.


	126. Chapter 126

Three drabbles for a specific reason.

Sweetheart, my love for you is infinite. There are no words for how much I miss you, and how much I want to be with you.

* * *

I know that a dozen deep red roses arrived at the house earlier, thanks to the internet. Work's been insane and I haven't even had time for a short text. When I can finally leave, I practically skip to my car. Once I'm safely inside and the heat's been started, I dig my phone out of my purse. Her texts make me smile, updates from all throughout the day. She misses me. She loves me. She's horny and can't wait for me to be home.

_Home_.

Racing through the streets, I imagine what Jessica will be wearing, where she's waiting.

Inside our house, I smell dinner. Or, the remnants of dinner. Everyone else has already eaten, but I swing through the kitchen anyway, starving. Noticing the kitchen is cleaned up, I grumble.

"Everything you need is over here, sweet girl," Jess says, walking up behind me. "Happy anniversary."

I turn in her arms and we kiss.

"Yeah?"

Her fingers thread through mine and she leads me to the bedroom. There are soft candles glowing around the room. On the bed are several plates with cheese, crackers, fruit, and chocolates.

I undress her slowly and she does the same to me.

Naked, we lie side-by-side, feeding each other. Each time her fingers slide into my mouth, I get a little more wet. When we've eaten enough food to sustain us, I put the plates on the dresser and climb on top of her.

"I love you," we say simultaneously.

I roll over, taking Jessica with me. She turns and situates her body above mine, and I snake my tongue out.

When we've both come, we switch positions. Against her hand, we come again. We exhaust each other for hours.

In her arms, she kisses me slowly. "Best anniversary yet."


	127. Chapter 127

One wouldn't possibly be enough on this day. There are no words to express the depth of my gratitude for the day of your birth. You amaze me every single day. You take my breath away. You remind me to be a better person. You challenge me to be patient.

I love you. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

* * *

There isn't an object expensive enough, worth enough, to ever convey the depth of her love, so she doesn't even try. Bella browses baubles,clothes, and lots of _things_, but nothing is quite right.

"Happy birthday," she whispers, kissing Jessica awake. "Welcome to another year."

Jess groans, not quite embracing the day as Bella does.

Just like the years before, Jessica wakes to two cards — one for her, and one (unsent) for her mother. She reads them both and sits up, knowing what comes next. Sure enough, in a few minutes, several kids bring a tray with breakfast on it.

When the pancakes are gone, Jess brings the tray into the kitchen and shuffles around for a minute, wondering what the day might hold. She smiles, knowing it will be only fun; knowing there's no point in doing anything but embracing the surprise of it all, because each surprise will be something prompted from a place of love and joy.

By the time she walks back into their room, the shower is running, and Jess knows what that means: it's going to be along, luxurious time getting clean. Under the warm spray of water, she lets Bella care for her.

The house is quiet at the end of the day. There have been gifts, so many gifts, and hugs, and only the best of surprises. People have dropped by, there was a homemade dinner of exactly what Jess loves, and then gooey, drippy, salted caramel brownies.

Jess looks at the vase of colorful flowers on the kitchen counter, and hums their song almost by instinct.

"I love it when you sing," Bella says, wrapping her arms around her love from behind.

Jess leans back and meets Bella's lips. "Thank you for today."

"I love you. Thank you for every day."

In their bedroom, candles are lit, and there's a bottle of champagne on the bedside table. It's indulgent and feels a little over the top, which makes Jessica giggle. She's definitely picked a goober to be in her life forever, but Bella is _her_ goober, and that's all that matters.

When they're naked, and Bella streams the cold liquid down Jessica's chest, there's not a giggle to be heard. Bella chases the fruity bubbles with her mouth, lapping and licking up the sweet champagne. After she's lavished attention at Jess's nipples and the swell of her breast, she goes further.

Between Jess's thighs, Bella doesn't pour anything — she'd hate to dilute the essence of her lover. She craves the taste, the scent, the feel of her slickness against her mouth and tongue. She craves the sound of her, the feeling of the wetness surrounding her fingers as she comes, the way her body twists and writhes.

Bella's rewarded with all of those things in short order, but she doesn't stop until their both exhausted and Jessica practically begs for a break.

"I love watching you come."

Jess laughs, pulling Bella closer. "I know you do, baby."

"Happy birthday."

"The happiest."


	128. Chapter 128

Exhaustion has overtaken her. Bella sets her keys on the table and hangs her purse, quickly glancing at the clock in the kitchen. The numbers blur and she shakes her head.

She crawls in behind Jessica, curling their bodies together, entwining their legs.

"I missed you," Jess says on an exhale, turning to look at her wife.

"Not nearly as much as I've missed you."

Jessica's smile grows. "I love you."

They kiss and reconnect and reunite, unspoken need taking them to familiar places. Everything in Bella's life falls back into place and makes sense again each time they're together.


	129. Chapter 129

"How long has it been?" The girl arranging the flowers asks.

I smile. "Ten years."

Her eyebrows lift and she shakes her head as she weaves in beautiful blossoms. No doubt, ten years seems like forever to her. To me, it hasn't been nearly enough.

"Special plans?" she asks, dropping in red roses.

"Of course." I laugh, giving her a look that says she probably doesn't want to know.

In the hotel room, I set the giant vase on the table and pluck a few roses out to use. Silk petals against silky skin. Soft whispers and moans and _us._


	130. Chapter 130

"Are you really here?"

Jessica whispers the words and they echo in Bella's heart. Their embrace is short, too short, but all that can exist at that moment.

Later, inside, Jessica straddles Bella's lap. The smiles on both their faces cannot be contained. Everything is perfect again. Magic.

Lips meet skin, tasting, dirty words are whispered, pleasure ignited, and without a doubt, more love than has ever been experienced by either is shared, given and taken freely in an exchange unlike any other.

Here is their bliss; together. No matter where they are, geographically, together is where they belong forever.


	131. Chapter 131

I close my eyes and dream.

Soft skin, soft lips, soft moans. Fingers in silky hair, tugging and touching. Lips wet, licking, biting, sucking. Quietly spoken obscenities, unimaginable orgasms, love beyond limits or boundaries. Jess is moaning above me, below me, in front of me in the shower.

"Bella, please," she whispers in my ear as my fingers tease her, stroking and bringing her to the brink of orgasm only to pull back.

"I love it when you're so greedy and wet. Come on my mouth, baby."

I close my eyes and dream; past meshing with future. Never enough.

Bliss.


	132. Chapter 132

Jess lies back in bed, propped against pillows, one arm behind her head. She's smiling as I take the picture, sated, but I'm not finished. Setting my camera aside, I join her.

"You are insanely gorgeous."

She rolls her eyes and I turn my attention to her body. I lavish attention at her breasts. I take my time, licking around her nipple before sucking it into my mouth and letting it slip out through my teeth. One of my hands strokes and tugs the nipple on the opposite side, my other sliding into her wetness.

This is my happy place.


	133. Chapter 133

I slide my hands into Jessica's. She's spread out beneath me and I've slipped the tip of the silicone toy I'm wearing between her lips. I can tell she wants more, the lustful look in her eyes speaking volumes, but she knows I enjoy teasing her.

"More," she begs. "Please."

Her fingers grip mine as I push my hips forward slowly and pull back. Her feet slide up the backs of my thighs, pulling me down.

"Never close enough."

It isn't, but every time she says it, my heart still skips a beat.

"Happy anniversary, baby."

"Best yet," she says.


	134. Chapter 134

Jessica's head rests in my lap as I start the movie. One of my hands plays with her hair and the other to scoops popcorn from our bowl.

"Don't fall asleep, baby."

She hums and I can feel her cheek stretching from her smile against my leg.

When he breathing slows, it's my turn to smile. I look around, taking stock of my life; it isn't perfect, it isn't always easy, but it's exactly what I wanted. I have her; everything else is inconsequential. She makes me whole, loved.

"Bedtime," I say when the movie's over; suddenly she's wide awake.


	135. Chapter 135

"We're going to be late," I say, laughing.

"I know, Bella, I just need to finish."

"You're gorgeous already, baby."

I'm trying not to whine, but failing miserably. I slide behind her and watch us in the mirror. Jess's breasts are full in my hands and she leans back against my shoulder.

"Trying to distract me?"

"Just find you irresistible."

It's true; from the first moment I saw her, my hands wanted to be all over her, my mouth pressed against hers. She's made me wet and gotten me off more times than I can count, and it's never enough.


	136. Chapter 136

She's full of regrets; Bella wishes she'd held Jessica's hand more at Pike's. That she'd have bought flowers, impractical as it would have been. That they'd have kissed around the city, letting everyone see the love that would soon be hidden. She wishes they'd spent less time with others, more alone. That she'd never left when Jess asked her to stay. That she had a voicemail with Jess saying she loved her.

Bella has many things she wishes she'd done differently, but none of them includes falling for Jess. It was something she never could have predicted, and absolutely perfect.


	137. Chapter 137

Bella closes her eyes as she talks to Angela.

"Sometimes, if I lie back and curl up, shift my legs into exactly the right position, I can feel her behind me."

Tears fall onto the mattress and her voice shakes.

She has never loved like this, and she knows Jessica feels the same. Each second they're apart is pinpricks against her heart, some deeper than others.

"I can smell her, whether I'm imagining it or from her hoodie. I miss her so much."

Hope is what she has left; it's what she clings to.

"I know," says her best friend.


	138. Chapter 138

Their days apart disintegrate — nothing else matters but their time together.

Bella paces as she waits for the love of her life. It's been too long, way too long. Bella's as close as she can be to the security post for arrivals.

When she spots Jess, she feels like she might literally fall to the ground with relief. Before she can, she's wrapped in Jess's arms, both women crying.

"Are you really here?" Bella asks, echoing Jessica's thoughts from the last time.

"I love you," Jess says, kissing Bella hard.

She's waited her whole life to hear and feel it.


	139. Chapter 139

The sound of her keys hitting the table is familiar, routine. Bella lets out a breath, happy to be home, their sanctuary.

"Come here."

Jessica's voice startles her, but Bella smiles even before she sees her wife. Those words will never be the same, not after their first weekend together.

Bella turns to see Jess draped across their couch. It isn't so much what she's wearing, but what she's not, that makes Bella's mouth water.

"Hi," Bella says, stretching out to cover Jess.

"Welcome home, baby," Jessica says. "Let me love you."

Bella smiles, receiving all the love she can.


	140. Chapter 140

Bella's thighs jiggle, and her breasts sag. Under Jessica's gaze, though, she's entirely comfortable. She feels beautiful, desired. The way Jessica looks at her makes her heart speed up in anticipation.

No one has turned Bella on like Jessica, or made her come as hard. Made her as crazy with lust. It's all Bella can do to think of things other than Jessica naked, under her, falling apart. She catches herself lost in thought frequently.

Everything they do, even boring shit like going to Target, is full of giggles and love.

They are best friends. Confidants. Lovers.

It's bliss. Magic.


	141. Chapter 141

It's the call she feels like she's waited lifetimes for. When Jessica's name flashes on Bella's phone, she waits so long it almost goes to voicemail.

"Hello?" Bella asks, nervous. She's afraid it might be a trick, or some kind of cruel joke.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

The words come out so fast. Bella can hear the emotion behind them, seeping into every word, and everything Jessica hasn't said.

Bella cries quietly, unable to form a response.

"I mean, you're obviously much more than that, sweetheart. Are you looking up airfare already?"

They laugh.

She is.

Forever begins now.


	142. Chapter 142

Their legs tangle, bodies moving together. Neither woman can tell who is making which sounds, but it doesn't matter.

"I want to watch you come on my face," Bella says, looking right at Jess.

"Fuuuuuuck."

Jessica angles and positions herself, her hands threading through Bella's hair. She pants, getting closer to orgasm. "I get to make you come next, though," she says, words punctuated by squeaks and moans.

Bella hums, and just as she suspected, her wife comes hard. Jess tries to lift her body and Bella tugs on her thighs, bringing her closer.

It's Bella's favorite time of day.


	143. Chapter 143

My girl is dirty, and I fucking love it. Jessica's an aisle ahead of me, and I'm watching her — not in a creepy way, but in the way a lover watches.

Once I'm sure the aisles around us are clear, I walk behind her, wrapping my arm around her waist.

"What if I made you come right here, right now?" I whisper, knowing how the words will affect her.

Jess's head falls back and she starts breathing fast. "Yeah?"

I angle her body so she can't be seen and my fingers explore. Before I can count to sixty, she's coming.


	144. Chapter 144

Even though she thinks it's creepy, I watch Jess sometimes when she sleeps. Her face softens, and it's like I can see the real woman behind the frantic wife, mother, worker bee.

She sighs and rolls toward me, and I know I've been caught.

"Come kiss me, creeper."

It's an offer I'll never turn down, after waiting for the privilege to be able to love and kiss her freely.

Before I have time to think, her hands are under my tank top, lifting it, loving me. Her teeth clink against my barbells and I moan at the pleasure she gives.


	145. Chapter 145

Fuck.

Jessica is in my lap, slowly rolling her hips against mine. Her lips are soft and gentle, yielding and demanding in perfect measure against mine. I want to rip all of her clothes off and worship her, breathe her in and taste her, feel her fingers and mouth and come so fucking hard with her.

But I don't.

I let her lead, let her set the pace, and remind myself to be patient.

When her hands slide beneath my clothes, I exhale and smile. "Thank god."

"Impatient?"

"For you? Always."

Her teeth close around my skin and I groan.


	146. Chapter 146

I wake up before her and smile. A single tear lands as I roll through all the thoughts in my head, grateful and thankful for every second of her time and attention and love.

As quietly as I can, I sneak out of the room and find the kids playing a game together. "Who wants to go get donuts with me?"

We load into the car, get our fried goodness, and make our way home. I'm glad Jess is still asleep when we get inside, and I arrange a tray.

In bed, I straddle her carefully and kiss her awake.


	147. Chapter 147

As usual, this is for you, my sweetest love. It was time to spruce up my profile, too. I love you. I need you. I miss you. I want you. Every second of my life, forever.

* * *

The bag is empty, and Bella waffles as she pulls the sticky tape back and looks into the box. She can include the note, explain the empty bag, take the risk. But she would never do anything to put her love in jeopardy.

Her fingers trace over the note.

_The bag is empty, but full. It's full of my love, our love. My heart is poured inside, a gift to you. Our love is invisible, but exists. Occupies space in our hearts and heads. Lives and breathes. Never ends. The bag isn't empty at all — it's overflowing._

She hopes that Jess will be able to somehow smell her over the gross new T-shirt smell. That she'll know Bella clutched the T-shirt close, wrapped her body up in it and slept that way, remembering the nights they were wrapped up in each other, looking forward to the day when they will fall asleep that way again.

Bella knows, doesn't just hope, that someday, it will be their day. Someday, it will be their time. Someday, their lives will settle down and they'll look across the table at each other instead of imagining it.

The bag isn't empty at all.


	148. Chapter 148

3-for-1, because 100 words is almost never enough, especially not for bubbles and you.

* * *

The water is warm, bordering on hot, and Bella smiles. She has plans, and damn if her plans aren't soapy and wet — the best kind.

"Come on," she says, tugging Jessica away from the couch and her shows. On the walk, Bella strips off Jess's clothes, stopping to pay proper worship to the newly exposed parts of her body. Bella bites at the swell of Jess's breast, sucks at the nipple through the fabric of her bra before it comes off.

When panties hit the floor, so does Bella, perched between Jessica's thighs. Instead of closing her eyes, she looks right up at Jess, their eyes never leaving each others as one woman brings the other to orgasm. Bella hadn't intended for reciprocation, but when they get into the bathroom, Jess pushes her against the counter, spreads her legs, and shows her appreciation.

In the bubbles, they soak and relax, laughing and talking about their days. Bella can't keep her hands to herself, though, and when Jess snuggles back into her, they roam.

"I know I've said it a million times, but you have fucking fantastic breasts."

The words are soft, a tickle against Jess's neck, and the spark ignites again.

Jess arches her back when Bella's fingers slide through her lips, putting pressure exactly where she aches and wants.

"Fuck," Jess whines.

"I plan to do that later, baby."

Jessica's hands tighten on Bella's thighs, and she knows there'll be a mark tomorrow, but doesn't give a single fuck. The woman has left her mark all over Bella's heart and spirit, it might as well be physical, too.

"You gonna be a good girl and come for me?" Bella asks, teeth tightening over the soft velvet of Jessica's neck.

They kiss gently between orgasms.

"I love you," Jess says.


	149. Chapter 149

My fingers trace the black ink contrasting Jess's skin; they're both beautiful.

"Remember when you did this?"

My lips touch the feathers gently and she smiles at me in the mirror.

"How could I forget?"

"You are, you know."

Her eyebrow lifts, questioning.

"My angel. My savior. My everything."

"Show me," she says quietly.

As softly and carefully as I can, I love her. We lie in the dark and she cries in my arms, unspoken wounds and scars.

When she's calm and laughing again, she looks at me with a smirk. "_Really_ show me this time; harder, faster, more."


	150. Chapter 150

The air around them is humid, sticky and wet, like the space Bella's focused on between Jessica's thighs.

"If you don't quiet down, you're going to wake up the kids."

"Don't give a fuck," Jess says, a playful smile on her beautiful face.

Bella bites the inside of her thigh and the sweet reward is the sexiest moan ever, but it's loud.

"Do I need to keep your mouth busy?"

No more words are needed and the women move to the chaise lounge, both of them occupied with each other, hands, mouths, lips, fingers.

The ocean whispers in the background.


	151. Chapter 151

"Will you love me when I'm old and ugly?"

Bella laughs at the question, but not in a mean way.

"First," she pauses to kiss Jess softly, "you'll never be ugly. " More soft kisses. "Second, I love you in any condition, any circumstance, always. When you're happy or sad, all made up and gorgeous or freshly awake with creases from the pillow still on your cheek. Even when you make me late."

She knows she hasn't gotten the quote exactly right, but that doesn't matter; what matters is Jess seeing the truth and knowing it.

They are bliss, forever, magic.


	152. Chapter 152

She used to think kissing was boring; a waste of time; a prelude to sex and orgasms and sleep.

Then one day, Bella kissed Jessica, and lightning struck. An epiphany beyond comprehension. Kissing? Fantastic.

Soft lips and sweetness. A tongue that doesn't invade and slime, but slides in a sensual caress, demanding in exactly the right way. Lips that sometimes whisper of things to come, sometimes reassure, sometimes just remind, but always are welcome.

When those kisses are back, she will eagerly consume each one, and meet them with enthusiastic kisses of her own. She aches for her sweetheart's kisses.


	153. Chapter 153

She watches Jess sleep, an indulgence these days - both sleep at the leisure time to watch.

"Happy anniversary," Bella says when Jess wakes up.

Jess smiles, a wide smile that's all Bella's. "Will you ever stop counting the months?"

"I sometimes count the days, the hours, the seconds," she whispers, being dramatic. "But no, probably not. Will you ever get tired of it and ask me to stop?"

"Never," Jess promises with a kiss.

Her body is warm, curves nestled perfectly against Bella's, but what Bella feels most is her love. That invisible string connecting them, pulling them together.


	154. Chapter 154

I love you, sweetheart. I love you so much it bursts out of me, in fits of giggles in the middle of Whole Foods and Target. In the middle of the night. In the middle of a run. I love you, forever. I hope you understand and forgive me for the very poor delivery method of this important (?) bit of information and update.

* * *

She exhales, the weight of the conversation lifting from her shoulders. It's one of the biggest life changes Bella's made, and although she's had moments of uncertainty, it's the most confident she's been in what she wants for the future.

She wants bliss. She wants forever.

Boxes are still packed and there are conversations to be had, but she's taken the first step to freedom. To happiness. To a life that is her own and fulfilling again.

She's terrified, but sure. He's understanding, and they grieve together and separately.

She is free. She is reborn. She is weightless and alive.


	155. Chapter 155

During every lull, Bella's mind slipped to her. Specifically to between Jessica's thighs. Wet, slippery, sweet. Heaven.

She found herself being honked at while stopped at red lights that'd long ago turned green, the ache distracting her. An errant thought of breasts that fit perfectly in Bella's hands and mouth, legs wrapped around Bella's hips, thighs sliding against Bella's.

At least once, she literally shook her head to try and clear the thoughts, but it was no use. Bella had never felt more wanted, desired, or sexy. She'd never felt more needy, desperate to have Jessica's skin under her again.


	156. Chapter 156

"I'm going to want to ravage you."

As soon as the words came out of Jess's full lips, she was lost. Bella'd never been ravaged, never heard anything from a lover that even came close to what Jessica had said. The words made her shiver as they replayed in her head, making her feel desired and wanted.

Every time her eyes closed, she remembered, her lips tingling with anticipation of meeting Jessica's again. Her mouth watered with desire. Her fingers itched to be pressed against warm skin, threaded through silky hair.

Bella was giddy the whole day, bursting into giggles.


	157. Chapter 157

They walked hand-in-hand through the market, not understanding a word around them.

"Do you think we should have learned French?" Jess asked, squeezing Bella's hand.

Bella smiled. "Where would the fun be in that?"

There were cafes, croissants, flea markets with treasures abound, and a drive to Venice. Hours of each other, wrapped together in bed, whispered words and lusty sounds the only thing between them.

On the long flights back, they held hands and laughed, napped against each other.

"Ready to go back to reality?" Bella asked, her eyes on Jess's lips.

"Yeah. Our reality is pretty fucking amazing."


End file.
